MARTINA MILLION Q&A

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1. Who is Martina Million?

I was born in Poland in 1989. I legally changed my name to Martina Million in the UK, where I spent half my life. I challenged myself deeply because I now have to live up to the surname I chose. Believe it or not, I wanted to get married (got engaged three times) because I felt pressured to change my surname. Apparently, I am here to challenge every norm and tradition.

2. Why do you do this work?

I had been postponing this for years, focusing on spirituality, soul's evolution, and learning about energy and past lives. Sexual Integrity was on my list, but a few years from now. My plans collapsed, and I went through a challenging initiation (Mars is not a gentle parent) and a collapse of identity, purpose and life in general. I have knowledge about sexuality that you won't find in books, and I had to remove internal fears and conflicts first to be able to teach about it.

3. What made you interested in sexuality?

Oh, it was my thing since I was young. I always wanted to understand what is behind desires and needs. People naturally open up to me because I don't judge, and I am curious.

4. Have you experienced sexual shame yourself?

Yes. I had many internal blockages created during this lifetime, and I also inherited many patterns from my family. Born in a Catholic country, raised by a strict Catholic family, sex was taboo, and because I didn't have a husband, it was also considered a sin. Some of the women in my family, who experienced a lot of abuse, tried to make me find sex disgusting. I went through many shameful experiences during my sexual exploration.

5. Have you experienced sexual trauma?

Yes. I was sexually abused as a child and also raped as an adult. A few times, I had sex that I didn't want to have but agreed to it, which is also considered a form of sexual abuse.  However, my experience wasn't as extreme as in some cases I'd heard of. The biggest sexual trauma I had was getting pregnant. It broke my trust in men, especially when he said he didn't want to be involved. I lost the child, and it took me years to relax during sex without a condom.

33. What is something you changed your mind about over the years?

Abortion. For my whole life, I was totally against abortion and pro-life, and I said I would never do it, until I was raped and went for a pill-day-after, grateful that I have this opportunity. If the pill wouldn't work, I would have an abortion. However, if that were a result of normal intercourse, I wouldn't. I am careful with sexual partners, and I protect myself, but for me, there is a difference between being forced with someone who wasn't my choice and getting pregnant with someone I chose to have sex with.

34. What does vulnerability mean to you?

Oh, it is an extremely uncomfortable exposure of your soft side without certainty of how the other person/people would react to it. Most people are wearing armour and masks. We live in a world where not many have the audacity (I love this word btw) to be authentic. Because our biggest collective fear is rejection, we bend, fit, shrink, pretend, and play roles that are acceptable and pleasant. I guarded myself a lot because I've never felt safe. Until I realised that I can protect myself any time, and if someone doesn't like my intensity and my softness, that is okay. My favourite quote: "I am not everyone's cup of tea. I am ayahuasca." And that sums up my impact on this world, really.

35. What do you hope people gain from working with you?

Understanding of one's own patterns. This is priceless. Knowledge is power. That's why tech companies make billions on sharing data and information. Once you understand your patterns, you regain your power. Clarity often comes with self-compassion. Humans have a deficiency of compassion, but are overdosed with self-judgement. Empowerment is not possible without acknowledgement. Also, having a fulfilling sexual life free from shame is absolutely amazing.

36. What is your philosophy in one sentence?

Own your shame and desire, or they will rule you.

37. What do you want your legacy to be?

Oh, I want a family. Honestly, I dream about having a family, raising kids, and writing books that can help people understand themselves. I love working with people, I feel passionate about sexuality, and I wish that every person could have the best sexual life possible. However, I will never put my career first.

29. What is one thing people often misunderstand about you?

People often underestimate my strength. I have a crazy ability to get over challenges really fast. I recover from setbacks in a very short time. This is actually one of the gifts of being a Mars's child.

30. What type of clients do you enjoy working with most?

With sharp edges and a dark past, but ready to put the guard down with someone who is strong enough to handle their energy. And I am. I go along with military, ex-military, sex-workers, all of those who feel like exiles by society. Those who feel misunderstood, rejected, and judged. I am not a healer; I don't have a soothing aura. I am a warrior and survivor that they can lean on while they work on themselves.

31. What type of clients are probably not a good fit for you?

Those with a victim mentality. We are all victims of some sort, but people with a victim mentality blame others and don't want to do the work. They just want to talk about it over and over again, and I am not the right person for it. You come to me, and I will give you solutions and a plan; you need to take action. I refused to work with some people because, in things like shame, sex, trauma, and expansion, you need to vibe. I vibe with people who are messy, make mistakes, but take accountability for their actions.

32. What is one lesson life taught you the hard way?

Rejection and abandonment. I was rejected and abandoned since my mum was pregnant with me. This pattern repeated in friendships, romantic and family connections. I learned that what is mine will stay, what is not will leave, no matter how hard I try.

24. What role does communication play in relationships?

The most important. Without communication, a relationship won't survive. And it works both ways. It takes two partners to have a healthy relationship.

25. What role does sexual compatibility play in relationships?

For me is top 3. There is nothing worse than incompatibility in the bedroom while having strong feelings. For example, we have someone who is vanilla (it is okay to be vanilla, don't ever feel ashamed of it), and the other person loves BDSM. For a while, a BDSM lover will tone down, but unfortunately, in the long run, we have guilt and not being enough of a vanilla person, and being too much of a BDSM lover. Either of them should force their partner to change their core "If you love me, you should change your preferences". Love is one thing, sexuality is another aspect. That's why having a partner on the same wavelength as you is like a jackpot.

26. Why is Mars such an important part of your work?

For most of my life, I had no idea that Mars is my "home planet". What I mean by this is that I am directly linked to that source of power, and I have an energetic blueprint that matches Mars energy. My whole life was influenced and guided by this planet. I haven't used that properly. I fought against it on a subconscious level. It was deeply hidden. Let's be honest, being connected to Venus or Jupiter makes your life way easier. While I am naturally equipped to protect and very sexually charged.

27. What does your name, Martina, have to do with Mars?

There is a funny story about my name. When I was born, my whole family argued over my name. My mum grabbed the calendar because in Poland each day has a feminine and masculine patron, and she said: "She was born on the 30th, so her name is Martyna".

Martina means she belongs to Mars.

28. How would you describe yourself in three words?

Charming, protective, caring.

21. What is the most common problem you see in relationships?

Lack of communication. Many couples would work out in the bedroom if they learned how to communicate their needs. People struggle to admit what turns them on because they're afraid that their partner will find this cringeworthy or disgusting. So they spent years completely not satisfied. And lack of sexual satisfaction leads to infertility. Then trust is broken, and it is really hard to restore it. Another thing if there is no compatibility and needs won't be met, because they don't match.

22. What is more important: love or compatibility?

Compatibility. I am a very romantic person, but when it comes to relationships, love is not enough. With time, a lack of compatibility will cause issues, arguments, misunderstandings, and completely destroy the connection from the inside.

23. What is your view on pornography?

Quite drastic. Porn was never good for society, but right now, it makes people numb. It used to be about unrealistic expectations, but now it is about consumption and programming. Your subconscious mind is very open during arousal, so whatever you consume programs your preferences. We have men watching women having sex with other men, and this creates a pandemic of cuckhold kink. This is followed by shame, guilt, and lower self-esteem because men are naturally territorial. Women watch porn, too, because they know they "compete" with OF stars. This creates patterns that she is not enough. From a spiritual perspective, watching porn and having an orgasm during this is giving away your vital force to entities that feed on it. Also, it creates an energetic connection with a woman who was on the screen. That's why many porn stars have mental and emotional problems, because they're energetically connected to millions of men.

17. Can a person be both dominant and submissive?

Yes, and I think this is the most natural setting for human beings. Quite often being dominant is a coping mechanism developed as a result of traumatic experiences. Inability to let go of control can cost a lot. Also, submissive people are too afraid to take responsibility. While in a healthy relationship, a sub/Dom dynamic is a lot of fun, I know many toxic dynamics that harm both sides. I am the Switch, and I often say that I get the best of both worlds.

18. What is your view on kinks and fetishes?

Each kink or fetish can give a lot of information about a person. For me, it's fascinating how our mind can turn a bad experience into something sexual. Also, some kinks develop when we are ready for a deeper connection or when we have healed. Sexual preferences evolve with us.

19. Do you judge people's desires?

No, I understand them. However, they're topics that I would never find acceptable, and in this case, I have a strong opinion. When children and animals are involved, I have zero understanding, and I would wish that we had far more drastic laws that would eliminate criminals like this.

20. What topics are difficult to shock you with?

I think, considering my fascination with sexuality, I am really hard to be shocked in this niche.

12. What made you create the Light & Shadow Tarot system?

I couldn't find tarot decks for my needs, so I designed them by myself. I love working with tarot or any cards because you need to face what you see on the cards. Talking is easy, but try to see a card that represents exactly your pattern, and you see it, so you can't ignore it. I'm slapped by my decks on a daily basis, while during meditation I can simply ignore what my mind's eye see.

13. Do you predict the future with tarot?

I can predict outcomes, but I strongly believe that we can consciously shift into a reality that is the best for us. I never liked fortune-telling or prophecies. We have so many realities to choose from, absolutely, not going to choose some shitty scenario just because I saw it in cards. Tarot is an art, but people give away their decisiveness so easily. I always want to give them their power back, not take it away.

14. What is the difference between Light and Shadow?

Light represents positive aspects of patterns. Blessings, opportunities, and energies that we want to manifest in our lives. While the Shadow deck shows blockages and patterns that prevent good energies from manifesting. Sometimes, shadow work is not enough. That's why the Light deck is so useful when you don't know what pattern could replace your shadow blockage. So I use them in all different configurations to identify how to dismantle blockage faster. Is all about patterns and energies.

15. What do you believe about masculinity?

That is not what the mainstream made us believe masculinity is. In my opinion, there is no one rule/model/recipe for a masculine man. Not every man is dominant, not every man can dominate; some of them have a gentle and nurturing nature, which doesn't make them feminine. We have all different colours and shades of masculinity, but only one is acceptable by society - the strong alpha dominant male. If he is gentle, then he is pussy. Many men are trying to live up to expectations, losing their integrity along the way. Also, we now have so many movements on both sides that fight against each other because old models no longer work, and new ones haven't been developed yet.

16. What do you believe about femininity?

That we have soft and gentle women, but also strong, powerful, dominating ones. Feminine energy is not passive, it is not just about receiving and being led. Women can be extremely protective, so this is not just a masculine trait. I am for sure not a feminist and will never be, because every officially pushed narrative is designed to create conflicts between men and women. For sure, people are trying to simplify the complexity of polarity and gender dynamics.

9. What is the biggest misunderstanding people have about sexuality?

I think people don't understand the consequences of sex fully. Some kind of sexual preferences can cause a very strong connection that will affect future relationships if not cleared. Not only energetically but also emotionally. We are not educated enough from a spiritual perspective to understand that it is so easy to bond through anal sex or even more powerful connections when intimacy happens during her menstruation.

10. What is the biggest misunderstanding people have about shame?

Shame is conditioning. Different cultures have different rules. Also, we inherit shame from our ancestors. Including traumas. So we recreate similar situations in our life, very similar to those our parents and grandparents experienced. Shame is not something you were born with. This is not natural. Also, what you feel ashamed of would mean nothing to someone with a completely different level of shame.

11. Why do people repeat the same relationship patterns?

Because they don't know how to break it. In order to overcome the pattern, we must be aware of it. Then we need to take action based on the new pattern. For example, someone who constantly attracts avoidants will have to say no to them and only get into a relationship with someone with a secure attachment style. This is something new to them, so first, they will be tempted to go back to toxic dynamics. Breaking patterns is uncomfortable af.

6. What is Sexual Integrity?

This is when you experience sexuality without shame and guilt but with joy, fascination, or for those who prefer comfort with trust and safety. Each person has a different set of needs and preferences. Being sexually integrated means that you have sex in the way you want with someone who is compatible and meets your needs. What is the most important? It is fluid. There is no strict dynamic rule. You allow yourself to explore and expand if you want to, without shame or being trapped in Dom/sub labels for the rest of your life.

7. Why do you believe sexuality is so important?

Sexual energy is our most creative force. Not only literal life-creation but also pleasure, joy, expansion, and even a tool for healing and manifestation. Sex connects people, bonds them, can uplift, boost, inspire and simply bring aliveness to our lives. However, on the shadow side, it can be one of the most destructive forces. Trauma, violence, manipulations, distortions, and deprivation can damage not only the body but also the psyche and soul. Sex is not just a physical experience; it is also an energetic information exchange. Whether someone believes in energy or not, transfer is made every time.

8. Do you think sexuality affects other areas of life?

Oh yes. Your mental state can be affected by sex with the wrong people and addictions, so your productivity, career, and ability to function in society can drastically change. Many kinks can lead to financial problems, not just divorces. And again, when used wisely, it can boost everything in our lives. With the right person, you can improve every area of your life thanks to sexual exchange.

My name is Martina Million.

I am a Sexual Integrity Consultant, creator of the Light & Shadow Tarot system and educator in the areas of sexuality, relationships, shame, desire, masculinity and femininity.

My work combines personal experience, psychology, spirituality and honest conversation to help people better understand themselves and their relationships. I do not believe in one model that fits everyone. I believe understanding creates freedom. Below are 37 questions and answers to help you get to know me before we work together.